Date: 1/23/2008

Did you know?

Did you know that i secretly cry and tear myself to shreds every night? Did you know that behind my seemingly warm happy eyes lies a broken innocent, ravaged by many sinful hands? Did you know that i loathe you for disposing and abandoning me in this forsaken hell? Did you know that i bleed for you, that i dwell in this eternal pain for you, that you bind me to this duty? Did you know that your intertwined you and i and left me to take care of our withering souls? Did you know that for every smile i forcefully press against my face a slit is placed upon my delicate skin? Did you know that everyday you kill apart of who i am, that every time you scream at my wrenching, contorting face i grow numb? Do you even know that i exist anymore? Do you know that for every word you say, it pierces my heart and i grow closer to my death? Do you even care that you have started my reckoning? Did you even know or acknowledge when i crept upstairs and locked my door, when i slowly consumed the various jagged white pills, then i pierced my wrist with the oh so familiar knife? Did you know that i did that to escape you because it was the only absolute solution? Do you realize that even as i lay in the plain plush cushions on my final bed with an expressionless face, i still hold nothing but contempt for you? Do you finally understand cursed life you burdened on my fragile shoulders? I dont think you do, you will never understand....will you?

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